Gain Control Over Your Thoughts

Happy Sunday! Gotta love Sundays if only Monday wasn't around the corner. Dang Mondays! Another weekend gone by too quickly. C'est la vie...

Tonight is my usual "Mommy-time". Meaning my sweet child is with his father Sunday evenings and I get the night to myself. Usually starts off lonely because I miss my son, but then replaced with relief because I get to actually do something for just myself. Like read a book. Take a long bubble bath. Watch a Lifetime movie...from beginning to end. Or my favorite - blog! :)

I chose to do all of the above. I took a nice hot bath. Then I snuggled up in my robe, pajama pants and slippers. I made a cup of green tea and watched a cheesy chick flick. Afterwards, I made more tea, got comfy in my bed and read some Scripture. It was all very relaxing until I started to get anxiety over Mickey starting school soon. I started to dwell on things outta my control as well as things that were very much in my control. Basically, all that quiet time was making me think. A lot. I am worry-wart much like my mother. It's a disease. Ok not really, but damn near close lol. What's the saying? "An idle mind is the devil's playground." We are told, in 1 Corinthians 15:58 "...Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord", so we should always be BUSY doing what's right. (Ephesians 4:28) "Idle men" were often spoken of as insolent and lawless and were used by God's enemies to form mobs to attack others (Judges 9:4) (Acts 17:5)(Proverbs 15:2). Obviously, that's on the more extreme side of the spectrum, but you get my point. Those who are idle, having no purpose and nothing to do (mentally or physically), can get themselves into trouble. "...and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention." (1Timothy 5:13) Good grief, how many people in this world do we know that gossip out of sheer boredom? I'm raising my hand because I too have fallen victim to idle talk as well. Yikes. Not good.

Sunday is a day of rest, but I was so relaxed from doing next to nil that my mind wandered into the "worry file" of my brain. I started to worry about Mathias and his future and blah blah blah. The usual worry file I dab into some Sunday nights. With all that said, I tried distracting myself with web browsing. And it did work! Feeling the need to do something and be more proactive in my service to God I tried googling random words and phrases to steer me right. Tried to shake that icky feeling...you know the one...that "ugh" feeling. The blah-like zone you get sometimes when perhaps you're not doing enough? I had spent a good chunk of my afternoon being lazy and relaxing after I dropped off Mathias that I felt almost guilty. Hence the mini panic attack I had earlier when I was thinking of Mick's first year of Kindergarten coming up. All the registration steps and picking the right school....then fast forwarding to his high school years and graduation and good grief my mind was all over the place tonight. Ironically, all that relaxation just caused me to work up an anxiety attack. I just don't think I'm built to not do anything for an extended period of time. Or to not spend time with anyone. I enjoy work only because I am being productive. I enjoy raising my son only because I am being used for what I feel God intended me to be...a mother. I enjoy being lazy too, but it doesn't reap the same results I would get had I have been doing something. I love to veg out, but often times it makes me spiritually dull and emotionally unsatisfied. So I prayed for my "free time" to be used a little more wisely next time. Scripture (whether found online or in the actual book) can always help lead you to do God's work or to ponder the Spirit's passages.

Here's an interesting website I found that seemed to help with the direction I was trying to get at tonight. It's amazing how the Lord knows just where to lead me to each and every time. I barely searched the web at all before He brought this link up on my browser. Enjoy!

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