Kindergarten Moments!

"Happy Birthday To You..."

Singing happy birthday to Mathias at his 5th birthday party. Sweet boy was so excited! :)

Are You Kidding Me???

I think I was just given a taste of my own personal Hell. I'm on a strict fitness regimen and I've been watching what I eat. That doesn't mean temptation isn't out there. Anyway, I decided to treat Mathias for some good ol' fashioned ice-cream. He was ecstatic. We go and I order just one single vanilla cone. Nothing else. The gal hands us a cone and a small bag. In a hurry to get home, we drive off. In the rearview I see Mathias happily licking up his vanilla ice-cream. I smile and keep driving......that is until I smell something familiar....something delicious...something cheesburgerish. The damn people at the drive thru gave me someone else's food! And I had to endure the smell of something I couldn't eat on what seemed like the longest drive home ever. To top it off, my Jeep's a mess.

ME: Mathias? What's in the bag?

MATHIAS: A cheeseburger.

ME: Did Mommy order a cheeseburger?

MATHIAS: No. You just said one ice-cream cone for Mathias cuz he's a good boy.

ME: Exactly.

MATHIAS: Huh?

ME: Nothing. Hand me that bag please sweetie.

MATHIAS: No thank you.

ME: What???

MATHIAS: No thank you.

ME: Mathias hand me that bag please.

MATHIAS: Are you going to eat it?

ME: Of course not. I just want to see it.

MATHIAS: (lifting the cheeseburger in the air) See?

ME: Young man....give me that bag now.

MATHIAS: How about I eat it for you Mommy?

ME: You just had dinner -  are you still hungry?

MATHIAS: No. I'm not hungry.

ME: Then give me the bag please.

MATHIAS: I dropped it Mommy.

ME: What?! Where?

MATHIAS: It's on the floor and I can't reach it cuz of my seatbelt.

ME: OK well don't get up, stay seated and we'll pick it up when we get home.

MATHIAS: Uh-oh Mommy....the cheeseburger fell out of the wrapper!

ME: What?! How?! Don't touch it leave it alone!

MATHIAS: Mommy, every time you turn, the cheeseburger rolls around!

ME: Is it leaving a mess???

MATHIAS: Uh-huh...ketchup, cheese, hamburger, pickles...

ME: I know what's in cheeseburger!!

MATHIAS: This one has a lot of cheese!

ME: *silently sobbing*

Paint Monster

You know...a five year old's imagination is incredible. It really is. The things they come up with blow me away. But I'm beginning to see a pattern here on Saturday mornings...


MATHIAS: Mommy Mommy Mommy!!!

ME: What What What!!!

MATHIAS: I had a bad dream! The paint monster tried to paint me all over! It wouldn't stop painting me!

ME: The paint monster? Doesn't sound too bad sweetie.

MATHIAS: The paint monster was painting food all over me and I was sooo hungry and I just wanted to eat my face!

ME: Woah. That is a nightmare.

MATHIAS: Yeah it was. Maybe we should go in the kitchen and get it. Let's bring a bazooka in case it tries to sneak on us.

ME: Oh sweetie, if the worst it can do is paint all over us, then I think we'll be ok.

MATHIAS: No Mommy, his paintbrush was huuuuuge. It could kill us. I'm bringing my gun and pirate sword. You have to make the breakfast. Cmon!

ME: Wait, why do I have to make the breakfast?? Lemme guess, pancakes?

MATHIAS: Not today Captain Mommy! Gotta fight the paint monster. We'll need French Toast!

ME: Of course...

Aaargh! I'm a paint monster killin machine!